Review - Sarpino's Chicken Tenders

Sarpino's chicken tenders managed to perfectly capture the taste and feel of microwaved frozen chicken strips. The coating has a small degree of flavor, but the actual chicken somehow manages to make no impression - forgotten as soon as it is swallowed. They breading is also exceptionally dry and the tenders don't provide enough moisture to make up for it. My mouth is a desert -  a desert where chickens have gone to die. I need another Mountain Dew.